Thursday, May 15, 2008

Wherein Colin Ames-Beaumont raises DIK standards.

The following fantastic comment was posted on Round 5 of the Desert Island Keeper Hero Draft yesterday by none other than the Colin Ames-Beaumont.

(... And in case you live under a rock, Colin Ames-Beaumont is from the Guardians Series by Meljean Brook, and hero in Demon Moon. If you haven't already, you really need to read this series. Start at the beginning, you won't be disappointed... its smart, sassy, and sexy.)

To the lovely ladies who worship their DIKs,

I have, of course, a list of requirements that must be fulfilled before I reside in a hut.

(I will, at this time, forgo listing my objections to living in any building that can be described as a 'hut.' Good God. The list would be far too exhaustive, and an eternity not long enough to write it.)

1) All mirrors shall be removed from the premises. In any case, no one will be looking at themselves--anyone with sense will be looking at me.

2) One woman cannot supply all of the blood I require, and therefore I must be granted access to every hut.

3) If I am not provided the women I need, I will take your men. I will give them a shagging unlike any they've ever had, and for some time afterward they will be good for nothing, and very likely crawl after me, ignoring you and hoping for another tumble. At such times, they will be unavailable for mohito-making, cleaning, and various other activities that you have planned for them.

4) I prefer not to sunbathe. If you wish to see me in a bathing suit, it will have to be in the dark or indoors. If you wish to see me nude, you have only to ask -- but you must prepare yourself for the glory that awaits you, and either sit or lie on a bed first. It is so tedious to always be catching fainting women.

5) If I am traded, I prefer not to be in a hut with Hugh Castleford. It is inconceivable to me that he was chosen before me; I may very well kill him.

If, of course, he does not first lecture me to death.

6) I must have a closet, access to a shower, a toothbrush, and the Wilkes Bashford website. Upon request, I will critique the other heroes' appearances, but I will not purchase clothing for anyone but myself.

7) I will not kiss McCabe.

Forever yours,
Colin Ames-Beaumont

Posted by Anonymous to The happily ever after . . . at May 14, 2008 6:35 PM

Pssst! Meljean! You rock! ;)


  1. OMGee! I freaking LUUURRVE Colin. I wanna go!!!

  2. That's AWESOME!!!! I can't believe I missed that comment yesterday. But what if we want a repeat of the kiss between Colin and Hugh? And why won't he kiss my Ethan? Maybe he accepts that after Ethan has my kisses nothing else can compare. ;)

  3. And he is MIIIINNNNNEEEE.

    sorry. long long day.


  4. OOOOO, how in the world did I miss that?

    I heart Colin, he was supposed to be mine! : (

  5. Ah, Colin that sneaky SOB.
    I think Michael needs to make his presence known. *HINT HINT*

    Michael head on over to Ramblings.... :D

  6. I had to come back and read it again. Colin has this "voice" that is his alone. Meljean Brook is a goddess. Really.

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  8. Too freakin funny! It's a good day to be alive *happy sigh*

  9. *pokes head out from under rock*

    He seems like a funny guy. *g* One of these days I should read those books.

    *dives back under the rock aka mount TBR*

  10. omg...that's too freakin' funny!

    ok, C. I will look for these books soon and get to reading them...they will be my summer project.

    Well...beside waiting and acquiring Phury, Acheron and Demon Wytch, of course!


  11. What's Colin got against McCabe???? LOL

  12. What's Colin got against McCabe?

    McCabe is a sodding giant. Who wants to spend eternity with a bloody crick in their neck?

    Not I.

    My regards, etc, etc,

  13. I want to know if Colin would wear a speedo or go buff in the lagoon.

    Ethan would just wear his cowboy hat and a smile.

  14. Yes, my Ethan is very large. *blushes*

    Colin dislikes him because when Ethan is around no one admires Colin - everyone is too busy staring at my gorgeous hunk of cowboy. Ethan looks very very good in nothing but a cowboy hat. In fact, he isn't allowed to wear anything else on the island.


    Tralalalala, I have Ethan! I have Ethan! he is mine mine mine!

  15. OMG Colin you crack me up!

    Go ahead Ciara...rub it in!

  16. I betcha Colin would kiss McCabe if Savi asked him to........

  17. Ciara is deluded. No one, anywhere, is as handsome as Colin..although Adrien is pretty close.

  18. Pffft. Colin will be busy kissing ME...hello.

  19.'re probably right! lol I may not have gotten Colin in the DIK pick...but he and I will be hiding behind palm trees on a regular basis!

  20. I would want Colin to be my personal shopper.
    I wonder if Savi still has long hair to wrap around Colin's....

  21. Colin can have his own "island habitation" over at the HLO island and he won't be required to kiss anyone (other than ladies on the island) ^_^

  22. I am now officially hysterical. I've been meaning to read Meljean Brook and now I must.

    And you'll like Wicked Game!

  23. Liviania! :)
    Thanks so much for stopping by. You definitely should read Meljean's books! She's a fantastic writer... fantastic world building and amazing (and very realistic) characters. Let me know when you start reading them. I love to talk about books, especially my favorites! :)


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